After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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