Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
