It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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