is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
