so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
