Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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