Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
