this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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