And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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