I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
