I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize