I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is Oprah even human
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
