I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
