Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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