got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
