Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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