just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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