Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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