Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
