He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
They took my balls.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
