Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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