Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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