how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
