Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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