I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
