Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
