i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
