I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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