Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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