Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize