i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
