they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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