I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
