sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
