That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
