i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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