god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
