Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
