i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Randomize