you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
