it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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