I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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