The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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