There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
