can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
