found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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