is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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