Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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