her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
