Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize