Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
