Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
