My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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