I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
