i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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