I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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