did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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