Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
