I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
