I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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