Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize