Me. At least after what I've been through.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
